1/4 of a what now?!

hrmmm. let me see if I can pull up the link to a previous post....there we go.

I like to pretend I'm all pro-age. and when people complain about getting older... I toss out "accept & enjoy". and more naive crap. Well, the truth is, now I'm closer to 30 than 20, and I'm not entirely pleased about it. not entirely displeased about it either.

The whole issue with aging is this... if you are living the life you want to live, then age really shouldn't matter.

I guess I'm just not quite living the life I want. I still ache when I see pictures of Mexico & archaeological sites... and then continue to panic a bit when I check out my school debt...and think of the cost of our wedding next year....

I guess I've got strings pulling me in a few directions.

I guess I've got an apartment I love in a city I love with a man I'm crazy in love with. which is all amazing.

I've got a job that's alright, pays the bills, but doesn't allow for much saving and paying down of debt.... but it's a job in a field I think I enjoy...and I'm working on a designation that will help me make my way up to a job that will help me save more, invest more, and pay down debt. which might lead to a job that combines my passion for travel, culture, and money.

let me ramble some more.

To be completely and blatantly honest. Something that really bugs me is my weight... I firmly believe that it's not a healthy weight, and that it's symbolic of more under the surface issues. I feel like I've got some other need I'm not addressing, and it's showing itself in... an unflattering way.

man.

So this is the rambles.

and this is some more.

Today I started a 21 day detox. It was a birthday present to myself, along with I'm with the band, Wonderful Tonight, and Cease to Blush. The books, I'm sure are awesome. The detox... is... well...it's something.

I started the day out with a cup of hot water and a lemon wedge. This made me gag, but lemon is good for digestion... so I swallowed it down. Breakfast was gluten free cereal and soy milk...which was pretty yummy. Mid morning snack was raw carrots, bok choy, and cauliflower... not too bad either. Lunch was a simple white bean soup with carrots and onion. and dinner is broccoli & gluten free pasta. except I don't know if the pasta I bought was actually gluten free...which is really a genius move for me.

speaking of genius, do you think all of these rambles may have to do with my lack of caffeine? did I mention no booze or caffeine for 21 days. It does sound like torture, doesn't it? but I guess my desire for health outweighs my desire for a beautiful black cuppa.

how long have I'm been typing for? should I bother to edit this?

also, did I mention my love of vintage reds??